Fowl Play
by shattered-radiance
Summary: Artemis is kidnapped and held to ransom on Butler's birthday. Down in Haven a crisis arises, and once again the People need Artemis's help. They join in the search for him. The Mafia get wind of the whole story, and since they're so fond of Fowl junior...
1. The Sock

A/N: This is set about 2 years after EC Disclaimer: I don't own any of the original Artemis Fowl charactors or settings ________________________________________________________________ Two floors up, Artemis Fowl II stared at the glowing screen in front of him. With the lights switched off, the computer screens were the only light in the room.  
  
The 15 year old raked a hand through jet black hair, glaring at the laptop. So far, he'd been unsuccessful. It appeared NASA had updated their security since last time he hacked them.  
  
Suddenly the scowl on his face lifted, and he tapped three keys. The screen blacked out for a moment, then came back to life. Artemis gave his vampire grin.  
  
Since the return of his father it had become increasingly hard to continue his rather dubious enterprises. Plus, there was that nagging feeling, in the back of his mind, like he'd forgotten something. Not a feeling Artemis was comfortable with.  
  
And those contacts he'd found in his eyes. They remained a mystery, and heightened his sense of unease. In the two years since those contacts had appeared, he'd actually stayed on the straight and narrow.at least while his parents were looking.  
  
These days they seemed to be everywhere, encouraging him to socialise with other teens, telling him how proud they were that he'd decided to play 'the hero', as his father put it. Artemis would far prefer to be the villain.  
  
Domovoi Butler sat on the spindly chair, which took his weight with an ominous crack. The huge Eurasian dwarfed the table in front of him. At over 2 metres tall, Butler dwarfed everything smaller than an elephant.  
  
Those he just shrunk slightly.  
  
Right now though, the bodyguard wasn't paying much attention to anything. Instead he was meditating.  
  
His concentration was shattered as his sister Juliet walked through the door. Now 20, the pretty blonde had just returned from the Lodge ((a/n: I think that's where they live.)) bringing with her car-keys, a six pack of beer and a boyfriend in tow.  
  
"Going out Dom, see you later!" she called, dumping the beer on the table. Glancing up, the manservant noticed the younger guy's expression. Most guys looked like that, when they realised that the gorgeous blonde had a big, BIG brother over forty, with muscles to put all their favourite wrestlers to shame.  
  
"Nice to meet you." Said Butler, just hiding a grin. The guy nodded, glanced at Juliet and said "Let's go."  
  
Without waiting for an answer, he walked out just slow enough not to be running. Juliet sighed. "Why do you do that? I like that guy!" Turning on her heel, she stomped off after him.  
  
Butler chuckled. Kids. Turning his attention back to the table, he looked at the beer. Well.normally, he wouldn't consider it but.Unknown to his employer, today was his 46th birthday. Just this once, and never again.  
  
Half an hour later, Butler discovered the alcohol in one of the cellars downstairs. And three hours later, something little short of phenomenal happened.  
  
Domovoi Butler, bodyguard to the heir to the Fowl fortune, became well and truly drunk.  
  
Upstairs, Artemis scrolled down on his computer monitor. Interesting. The CIA really should protect their site better.  
  
Behind him the door creaked open. Artemis spun around in his chair, snatching up the knife from his boot. Butler still didn't know about that one. Ever since that incident with the Peo..There it was again!!  
  
Those damn memories, the ones that didn't exist. Artemis cautiously approached the door, peering out into the corridor. Nothing.  
  
Unconvinced, Artemis turns, heading for Butler, then hesitates. He was 15 now, after all. Was he a child, to run from shadows?  
  
He scowls, stalking back into his room. Swinging the door shut, he freezes. The glow from the laptop monitor reflects in the eyes of the man behind the door.  
  
"What're ya waiting for?" a gravely voice demands from behind him. Artemis spins, searching for this new threat. Something is wrenched over his head and yanked into his mouth from behind.  
  
iIt's a sock!/i he thinks in disgust. Rough hands propel him towards the door, where another man is silhouetted against the light.  
  
Walking past him, Artemis can see he's well over fifty, but still spry for his years. Seeing the look on his face, the man laughs.  
  
"Think someone's goin' ta come save ya, rich boy? No' likely. Yer gorilla's downstairs, sleepin' off the effects of all tha' beer." A vicious grin splits the man's face at the expression of horror on Artemis's.  
  
Butler? Drunk?! Normally, Artemis would never sink to using profanity, but this was a special occasion.  
  
"Crap." he mumbled through the sock. His captors laughed. "Crap indeed, especially for your daddy. You know, the millionaire?" said the man who was holding his wrists. Artemis winced. Father was definitely not going to like this.  
***************************** A bird sang sweetly from the oak tree outside Fowl Manor, filled with the joy of life as it serenaded the dawn. Needless to say, this was somewhat at odds with the swearing issuing from within.  
  
Butler had awoken that morning with a headache to stun a bull-troll. But since Butler had defeated a troll before, that wasn't enough to stop him.  
  
After an hour of exercising and shoving his head into a bucket of water, he felt mildly better. Mildly.  
  
Climbing the stairs to his young employer's room, Butler wondered why Artemis hadn't already emerged. Suspicion began to cloud his mind, and he took the last flight of stairs at a run.  
  
Flinging the door open, he glanced around the room. No Artemis. Yanking the phone out of its socket on the desk, he dialled Artemis's cell phone. On the shelf behind him, it began to ring. Butler cursed, using words that even Juliet had never heard before. Artemis never went ianywhere/i without that phone. Never.  
  
Butler took a deep breath, and began to count to twenty. When he got there, he decided it wasn't enough, and went on to fifty.  
  
When at last he'd calmed down, he began to systematically search the room for signs of a struggle. The laptop was still on, logged in to the CIA site. Artemis wouldn't have left it on. Apart from that, nothing was out of place, except.on the floor lay a sock. Just a single sock, without a pair. Butler frowned. Then he left without touching anything, and marched to the master bedroom.  
  
Angeline Fowl stared uncomprehendingly at Butler. "Wh-what?" said her husband slowly. They were seated in their private sitting room, staring up at the enormous manservant.  
  
"Artemis is gone," Butler repeated. Angeline could see how much effort it was taking for him to remain calm. "It had to have happened sometime last night. His laptop was left on, and there was a single sock on the ground."  
  
They stared blankly at him. "A sock." Angeline repeated. "Yes. A sock." Said Butler through gritted teeth. "Socks can be used to tie hands or feet, or as gags. Since there was only one, I'd say it's been used as a gag."  
  
"I see," said Artemis the First slowly. "My son was kidnapped, and gagged with a sock, and while this was happening, you were.?"  
  
Butler managed to keep his face calm. Just. He did NOT want to tell the Fowls that while their son was being taken, he'd been stone drunk.  
  
"I was downstairs sir. Where I always am at night." Thankfully Mr Fowl accepted his excuse, nodding. "Well then, lets get someone on to it." Seeing his wife shocked face, Artemis the First pulled her into a hug. "Don't worry Angeline, we'll get him back. Our little Arty will be just fine." 


	2. The plot thickens, then churns, then tur...

Captain Holly Short, the only female Recon officer, punched the wall. Since it was reinforced steel, it wasn't the smartest thing she could've done. But under the circumstances, it seemed appropriate.  
  
Turning back around to face Foaly and Root, she clenched her teeth. Julius Root was a record breaking shade of mauve. Never had he looked so much like a tomato. He was so furious that he'd even stopped smoking his fungus cigar.  
  
"So, you're telling us that not only are there humans aware of our existence, there are humans controlling fairies?" said Root calmly. The sort of calm that comes right before the lightening strikes, and Foaly knew it.  
  
The centaur fiddled with his trademark tin foil hat. "Well.at least they haven't gone public with it."  
  
Holly sighed. This was going nowhere. "So what do we know, pony boy?"  
  
Foaly turned back to his computer console, zooming in on a mugshot. "This is Zachary Webb. He's a Swedish scientist. In 1994 he discovered the existence of the people. Since then, he's kept quiet about it. Until now. Somehow he got hold of a fairy, and adapted the mesmer so that it backfired onto the fairy."  
  
Holly stared at the centaur, horrified. Root grunted. "That's not all, is it Foaly?"  
  
Foaly sighed. "I wish. After the business with Opal Koboi, the Council thought no one would be stupid enough to try anything for at least a few decades." Seeing their impatient expressions, he hurried on. "Lili Frond," he announced dramatically "Last surviving descendant of the first Emperor."  
  
Root growled, grinding his almost untouched cigar into Foaly's workbench. "If you haven't got anything better than that, we're obviously paying you too much. GET ON WITH IT!" he roared.  
  
Holly hid a grin.  
  
"Stop smirking, you'll be next." Foaly muttered as he turned back to his precious computers. "Lili Frond is currently at Mr Webb's lab in Sweden, helping him. She mesmerises his captives into mesmerising themselves. It has a longer effect if they do it to themselves."  
  
Foaly faced Root and Holly. "But it gets worse. Webb is using the mesmerised fairies to steal plans, for nuclear weapons, anthrax, that sort of thing. Because they can shield, it's extremely easy for them."  
  
Root let out a long breath. "So? Why haven't you sent a squad over there? A few memory wipes, problem solved."  
  
Holly shook her head. "If it was that easy it wouldn't be a threat." Foaly nodded seriously.  
  
"We don't even know where this guy is. Somewhere in Sweden. We'd need help. Mud man help."  
  
"D'arvit!" Root swore. "Not Fowl again. Can't we do anything on our own?" Holly glanced away. Fowl was an enemy of the People, and a danger. Plus he'd been mind-wiped, and probably reverted. But. things were never boring with Artemis Fowl junior around.  
  
Artemis forced his eyes open. His head felt like someone had gone at it with a drill. Where was he? And what was he doing in a...bag! He was in a body bag!  
  
Slowly the events of the night before returned to him. After they'd left the manor, someone had clubbed him on the head, knocking him out.  
  
Artemis rolled as the floor swerved. He had to be in a car. He could hear music playing, country and western. Lots of static.  
  
"Where are ya goin'?" demanded the gravely voice of the older man. "Look Dave, yer followin' the wrong bloody road!"  
  
"Am not!" insisted Dave. "Look at the map, Mick. You're hopeless!" Dave had a New Zealand accent thickening his words, making it hard to understand.  
  
"We have t' get there before noon, idjit. He'll be wakin' up soon. And yer still sick as a dog from the plane. And tha' was our turnoff." Said Mick smugly.  
  
Dave muttered under his breath, turning back. Artemis rolled again, and winced as his shoulder connected with metal. At least that damn sock was gone. He wondered if it had even been clean.  
  
Not likely.  
  
Hours later, the car came to a juddering halt. Thankyou, Artemis thought. Country music was well and good, but he'd had more than he could take.  
  
Click. Someone unlocked a door to his left. He was slung roughly over a shoulder, and as the bag shifted position, he saw the row of slits the allowed air through. Wriggling closer (Not exactly easy) he peers through the slits to see.the floor.  
  
Grey tiles, he observed. Nice, shiny, squeaky clean tiles. Somewhere with money, then.  
  
Through a door and into another room, this one with blue carpet. And then...The zip up the side of the bag was undone, and the bag pulled open. Artemis sat up immediately.  
  
Glancing quickly around him, his first impression was.clean. Everything was clean, white and sterilised. Like a hospital. Dave and Mick were both eying him doubtfully, and beside them a matronly woman stood, with a needle held in one hand.  
  
Artemis recoiled. He'd had more than enough sleep, thankyou very much. He opened his mouth to tell her so, but suddenly there was a slight pain in his arm.  
  
"Goodnight, Master Fowl." said the woman kindly. Artemis stared at her for a moment, before his eyes rolled back into his head, and he collapsed.  
  
"I hope this boy is worth it." muttered Dave.  
  
Artemis Fowl senior looked up from his papers, at the knock on his study door. "Come in."  
  
His wife entered, followed by a man, whose face was so average that you would have been able to pick him out in a crowd of a thousand.  
  
"Timmy, darling, this is Mr Reid. He's agreed to look for Arty." said Angeline, determinedly cheerful.  
  
Mr Fowl rose and shook hands with Mr Reid. Pulling up a chair, the detective got straight to business.  
  
"Now, Mr and Mrs Fowl, I understand your son disappeared sometime last night." They nodded. "Who was the last person to see him?"  
  
"Me." said Angeline. "I said goodnight to him."  
  
"And where was he?"  
  
The questions and answers flowed back and forth for thirty minutes, before Reid took his leave.  
  
Holding the door ajar, the man glanced back and said "Mr Fowl, I understand you partook in a few shady dealings in the past?"  
  
Artemis senior's stance and tone became defensive. "I have since realised my faults, Mr Reid."  
  
Reid nodded. "Quite." He strode out and shut the door, softly but firmly. So, the crime-lord had gone straight, had he? Interesting.  
  
Short chapter, I know.  
  
Thankyou Nightraven106 RavenGhost The Serendiptuos Oracle, That Aerin for reviewing. ( 


	3. What if the HokeyPokey really is what it...

Artemis awoke, for the second time that day, with a splitting headache. Raising a hand to the back of his head, he felt the now pronounced lump. Concussion, most likely.  
  
He was lying on a stretcher bed, in a white-washed room. A window to his left was pushed open, but there was no chance of escape. The view it gave was three storeys up.  
  
The door opened with a click. An enormously fat man walked in, wearing a suit, bright violet shirt and a Winnie the Poo tie.  
  
Artemis stared. This was the man who'd managed to sneak him away from under Butler's nose?  
  
"Good morning Master Fowl. May I call you Artemis? I am Mr Bernado." Bernado lowered himself into an armchair, standing in the corner. It looked a tad ridiculous in the bleak room.  
  
"I suppose you are wondering what you are doing here, yes?"  
  
Artemis raised an eyebrow. Well done, Einstein. "Yes. I am."  
  
Bernardo nodded. "Well. That is a rather long story, you see. You're a smart kid. You know the purpose in life. You know what it's all about."  
  
"The Hokey-Pokey?" said Artemis randomly, remembering the line in the song. Wow, he must've hit his head hard.  
  
Bernado shook his head. "Gold. Money. Power."  
  
"When I heard about the Mafia, and their capture of your father- don't look so surprised Artemis, I do have my contacts- I was intrigued. Whether they pulled it off or not, the Mafia hit on a good idea. So, I thought to myself, Bernado, you're not going to be young forever. If you want to retire early, you're going to have to make sure you have a nice big stockpile."  
  
Bernado twinkled at Artemis. It was very disturbing. Artemis had just been kidnapped by this man, who looked and acted like a grandfather.  
  
"You see, my boy, the Mafia's main mistake, was leaving you on the outside. From what a hear, you're a bright young spark."  
  
Artemis snorted.  
  
"And now, they say, your father's gone on the straight and narrow. And you haven't. And because your father is trying to build himself a better reputation, he won't do anything stupid, or illegal, to get you out. And so, he will pay the money."  
  
Artemis felt cold. He knew, without a doubt, that his father would pay up. Artemis Fowl Snr wouldn't risk his reputation in anything illegal either.  
  
The door swung open again, and the matronly woman who had tranquilised him came through. In her arms was a bundle of clothes.  
  
"Ah," said Bernado with a smile. "Here comes your clothes! After all, people will remember a child in Armani, won't they?" Artemis glowered. First at being called a child, then when he saw the clothes. Second hand, the lot of them, and probably not worth more than a fiver in an op-shop. Never, never had he had to wear second hand clothes before.  
  
Half an hour later, Artemis was staring glumly out the window. Not only was he wearing the tasteless clothes, his hair had been gelled into spikes. He looked like a street tough, for Pete's sake!  
  
And of course, it didn't help that the woman had told him he 'looked a picture'.  
  
Something catches his eye as he leans out the window. Right beneath it. A dumpster.  
  
Artemis weighed up the pro's and con's. Well. he'd get out of here, and save a substantial amount of money. But.a DUMPSTER?  
  
Behind him, the door handle turned, and it opened an inch. "I'll be right there. Just let me finish this." Said Bernado  
  
That clinched it. Artemis turned, and catapulted himself out.  
  
***************  
  
Holly switched on her wings, and took off. These wings were brand new, one of Foaly's newest inventions. Personally Holly though Koboi's Double-Dex had been better, whatever Koboi herself had been like.  
  
Just don't tell Foaly.  
  
Shielded and soaring over the Irish landscape, Holly smiled. Even though the surface was contaminated by Mud men, and everything that came with them, the land was still beautiful.  
  
Her mood soured somewhat though, as Fowl Manor loomed in front of her.  
  
Her mission was simple: find Fowl, do whatever's necessary to make him regain his memories, and get him back to Haven to help, even if she had to bash him over the head and chuck him in a sack.  
  
Unfortunately for Holly, someone had already done that.  
  
Holly got in through an open window, alighting in the Fowl's sitting room. She frowned. It was unlike Butler to leave such an obvious security flaw.  
  
Still shielded, she pushed open the door, and froze. Artemis's mother was sitting on her bed, crying.  
  
Holly stared. She'd helped to heal Angeline before, and she knew that the woman had a strong personality. Except when something happened to her family.  
  
Behind her, the hallway door swung open, and Artemis Snr walked through.  
  
Holly stared, shocked. If both the adult Fowls were here, then it must be Artemis Angeline was crying for.  
  
Holly sped down the hallway, looking for one of the Butlers. Hearing the tap of the key board, and the hum of a computer, she peeked through another open door.  
  
Butler sat at the desk, his mammoth fingers typing rapidly away. He looked like he hadn't slept for days.  
  
Unshielding, Holly approached. "Butler?"  
  
Butler spun, a flash of silver, and suddenly a knife was at her throat. He stared at her, perplexed.  
  
"How did you get in? And...where have I seen you before?"  
  
Holly sucked in a breath. "LEP. Mud Men. Elves. Magic. Commander Root. Tomatoes. Foaly. Goblins. Jon Spiro. Opal Koboi. Haven. Shuttle. Mulch Diggums."  
  
With each word, Butler looked more and more confused. Then.... "Holly?"  
  
A smile spread over her face. "Nice to have you back Butler. Where's Artemis?"  
  
Butler's face fell. "He...he was kidnapped Holly. We don't know how. No ransom demand has come through yet."  
  
Holly stared. Fowl, gone? Not possible. Fowl, KIDNAPPED? Not even delusional.  
  
************************ Foaly stared at the wall, unable to believe what he'd just heard.  
  
"Holly," said Root "we NEED the mud boy. Foaly! Find him!"  
  
"The Fowl's have got a private detective after him." Said Holly. Foaly snorted.  
  
"Anything the Mudmen can do, believe me, I can do better. Do you have a DNA sample?" Holly shook her head. Then hesitated.  
  
"I've got one of his socks though. It was found on the floor after he was taken."  
  
Root raised an eyebrow. "Riight." Foaly took the sock, and handed it to an assistant. "We'll have the DNA soon." He assured them.  
  
******************  
  
"Soon, he says." Holly muttered. It was almost twelve hours since Foaly had told them that, and she'd just been called in now.  
  
Whatever else Fowl might be, he was also a friend, in a weird, twisted sort of way. Twelve hours was a long time, and Holly had a short temper.  
  
Foaly spun to face her as she entered the Ops Booth. "News, Holly. Maybe bad, maybe good."  
  
"Just tell me."  
  
"Ok. We know Fowl's in the USA. In New York City."  
  
Holly frowned. "And the bad news?"  
  
Foaly shrugged. "That was it. We can't get a lock on him. And that's one big, dangerous city. Maybe things have changed, but I'll bet Artemis still relies on the Butlers for protection."  
  
Holly nodded. "Guess it's time I went on a field trip, hey?"  
  
**************************  
  
thanks everyone who reviewed 


	4. The world would be a better place withou...

WHUMPF!  
  
Artemis landed on a plastic garbage bag, forcing any remaining air out.  
  
"Ach!" he muttered, as pain infiltrated his arm. The edge of a tin had scored a long gash from his wrist to his elbow.  
  
Artemis stared. It suddenly occurred to him that Butler had no idea where he was.  
  
And for the first time in his life, Artemis had no money.  
  
Artemis hauled himself out of the dumpster, wincing. Numerous cuts and grazes covered his arms and legs.  
  
Brushing himself off, he glanced around. He was in an alley, both ends facing onto busy streets.  
  
Turning left, he walked calmly out onto the pavement. Bernado had just been entering as he left, and without a doubt, would have discovered his absence by now.  
  
Wandering along, past the row of shops, Artemis tried to mingle. It was his first attempt at it, and he wasn't great. People seemed determined to avoid him, and he saw one lady and her children cross the street to get away from him.  
  
Suddenly it dawned on him what he must look like.  
  
Old, ripped clothes. Bleeding, filthy and smelling like a garbage. Nothing like his usual self.  
  
Suddenly, he found himself face to face with a cop.  
  
"Hello, son." Said the officer, obviously making an effort to seem friendly. "You look beat. What's your name?"  
  
Artemis blinked. The man thought he was a street kid! Opening his mouth to announce his name and status, he hesitated.  
  
"Pat. Pat McCabe."  
  
The officer nodded. "I'm Rick Hutchkins. Where do you live, Pat?" Artemis could see him getting more and more suspicious.  
  
"Sorry Officer, I have to go. My brother's waiting over there." Artemis pointed at a boy about his own age.  
  
Walking to the boy, just fast enough not to be running, he stepped up beside him. The boy had a girl with him, to much like him to be anything but his sister. She was maybe a year younger.  
  
"What? Who're you?" the boy demanded. He and his sister both wore stuffed backpacks, and were moving fast.  
  
"I'm Pat McCabe. Act normal, and I'll be out of your way sooner." They stared at him.  
  
Artemis glanced at the bulging bags. A sleeping bag was slung from the girl's shoulders. No sign of adults anywhere near them, and a bruise darkened the side of the boy's face.  
  
They were running away.  
  
And his appearance wasn't helping their confidence. He was filthy, injured, and have I mentioned he stank?  
  
Artemis could just see them thinking 'Is this what's going to happen to us?'.  
  
He sighed. "Where are you going? I'll tag along until we're out of sight of that cop."  
  
The girl eyed him nervously. "Umm.nowhere in particular. D'you have, like, a home or something we can go to? Just until we're out of his sight." She added quickly.  
  
Artemis raised an eyebrow. Home, or something? "No." he said simply.  
  
"Oh. Well. Alright then."  
  
A few minutes later, they rounded the corner. Artemis turned to leave. The boy grabbed his wrist.  
  
Turning back to look at them, Artemis raised an eyebrow. They glanced at each other.  
  
"Umm, we don't really have a home any more either and.." The girl trailed off hopefully. They wanted help, from someone they saw as experienced.  
  
He sighed. "Look. However I may appear, I'm as new to this as you. And you've obviously just run away."  
  
The boy looked crestfallen. "Oh. We were hoping."  
  
"I know."  
  
************************  
  
Mr Reid strode along the footpath, one hand rummaging through his myriad pockets. Suddenly his cell phone began to vibrate.  
  
Frowning, he glanced at the tiny screen. The caller ID was...not there. Cautiously, he answered.  
  
"Hello Reid. It's Britva here." Reid froze. "I though I told you never to contact me again." He said through clenched teeth.  
  
"No. You requested that I never contact you again. That request was denied. And..there is that little matter of the McInnes affair. I'm sure Interpol would be delighted if someone was to give them an anonymous tip-off, wouldn't they?"  
  
Reid swallowed. Three years back, he'd been involved in a kidnapping, and had miraculously 'found' the fourteen missing children.  
  
Naturally, large sums of money were involved.  
  
How the Mafia knew about it, he had no idea, but they did. Several times since discovering his little indiscretion, they had blackmailed him into working for them. And he'd like very much to keep others from finding out.  
  
"Wha-what do you want?" Reid could almost see Britva's smug smile.  
  
"The dog's barking in the street told me that you've got a new client. A very rich new client. Someone who escaped from us before, when they should have died. And that someone's son is missing."  
  
"Yes." Said Reid slowly, painfully.  
  
"Find the kid, Reid. For us." The phone at the other end was replaced with a sharp click.  
  
************************  
A month later  
************************ Holly alighted on yet another rooftop, tightly shielded over the past month, she had systematically searched the huge city. No sign of the Mud boy. Her com unit bleeped.  
  
"Yeah Foaly?"  
  
"There's been another disappearance." Crackled Foaly's voice through the speakers. Holly sighed.  
  
In the last two weeks, over 20 fairies had disappeared. Several had later been located trying to penetrate human secure facilities. So far, they had not been recovered. And it was only a matter of time before the Mud People saw them.  
  
"Any luck?" said Foaly, almost desperately. "No." she replied despondently.  
  
**************************  
  
Reid glanced up as he turned the bend in the road, bringing Fowl Manor into view.  
  
After discovering that the boy was no longer in Ireland, he had laboriously searched through the numerous planes and boats which had left the country on the day the kid disappeared.  
  
Finally he had narrowed it down to three. All of them had had corpses aboard. Obviously, the easiest way to sneak a person out of the country was to fly them out in a body bag, as long as their body heat was hidden.  
  
One went to Australia, one to Tokyo, and one to New York. Australia was highly unlikely, so he had searched there first. Nothing. Tokyo had yielded even less. But New York..  
  
"It's always in the last place you look." He muttered. Duh. If you hadn't found it, you'd still be looking.  
  
Ten minutes later, he was sitting in an uncomfortable plastic chair, facing Fowl senior's desk.  
  
"Mr Reid, it's nice to see you again." Said Angeline, walking through the door. "Have.have you found him?" she asked, anxiety showing.  
  
Reid slid a photo across the desktop. "Not yet, but you might want to take a look at this. It was taken three days ago."  
  
Fowl senior's eyes widened, and Angeline looked on the verge of tears.  
  
The picture showed a grimy alleyway, partially light by the streetlamp on the corner. Just visible on the edge of the light, three teenage figures skulked.  
  
One was a girl, skinny and filthy, with a haunted look about her. The other two were boys, one with a backpack and brown hair, and the same air about him. But it was the third figure that held the Fowl's attention.  
  
He had always been slender, but now he was stick thin. His hair had been hacked viciously short, and his clothes were rumpled and muddy, as if he'd spent the last month in them. Which he had.  
  
And he had the same look as the other two, haunted and hollow-eyed. Like he knew he could run, but not fast enough.  
  
Three hours later, Butler and Juliet were on their way to New York.  
  
Thankyou everyone who reviewed or read this ( and special thanks to phire phoenix for being beta and that aerin for all your advice 


	5. Not you again

a/n: I'm sorry!!!! It's been about...a month since I updated. I had exams and everything, and then I was just being slack, and school ended yesterday. TWO MONTHS OFF!!! Ok, I'll start writing now. And once again, sorry for being so slow.  
  
And also, it's been pointed out that since Arty is a genius, he would've been able to find his way home, but for the sake of this poor lil fanfic writer, let's just pretend he didn't think of that, ok?  
__________________________________________________________  
  
Artemis leant against the wall, his head tilted back, staring at the sky. Everything ached. In the past month, he'd seen things, had _eaten_ things, that he didn't think were possible.  
  
He was still wearing the same second-hand clothes, so kindly donated by Bernado. His hair..he didn't want to think about what had happened to his hair. The two he'd met after he escaped, Alexis and Cameron, looked slightly better, mainly because they'd at least had the sense to take a spare shirt.  
  
The two had run away from an abusive father, and an alcoholic mother. But however bad home had been, they were definitely rethinking their decision.  
  
Artemis hadn't told them his real name, instead sticking with Pat McCabe. He fed them some story, basically similar to their own. Since then, they'd been sleeping under a bridge. To Artemis, life seemed less than real.  
  
"Hey, look at that guy!" said Alexis. Artemis winced. He'd never had much contact with the fairer sex, apart from Juliet. And Alexis beat her hands down in hyperactivity.  
  
Turning to follow her gaze, he saw a _very_ short man, with a thick beard. There was something very...familiar about him. Artemis was 75% sure he'd seen him somewhere before.  
  
Marcus? Michael? No.... Mundungus? Something to do with fertilizer..and..methane gas. Mulch!  
  
Artemis frowned, watching the midget weave his way through the crowded street. He didn't know where he'd met this guy before. And he hated mysteries.  
  
"I'm just going to go get..something." Artemis muttered, and ducked off through the hurrying people.  
  
______________________________________________________________  
  
Mulch Diggums was, to put it mildly, seriously pissed. The rent for his apartment had gone up, the Mud police were sniffing suspiciously round him, and he had the Barney theme song stuck in his head.  
  
A woman in a shoulder-padded suit power-walked past him, whacking him with her briefcase. She didn't even notice.  
  
"D'Arvit." muttered Mulch. From behind him, he heard a sharp intake of breath. Turning, he glared at the oddly-familiar street kid. "Whatcha staring at?"  
  
"What did you say? Just then?" asked a _very_ familiar voice. "Fowl?" Mulch gasped.  
  
The boy's eyebrows shot up. "How do you know my name?" he demanded. Mulch almost laughed. Even now, Fowl had lost none of his imperious air.  
  
Mulch slipped the tiny diskette over his neck. ((a/n: this being the thingamajig Holly originally gave to Artemis, which he then gave too Mulch, so Mulch could restore his memories. This happened in EC))  
  
"Uh, here." He shoved it into the youth's hands. Artemis stared at it for a moment. Mulch watched his face carefully, reading his emotions as they flickered across his face. Confusion. Curiosity. More confusion. Surprise. Remembrance. Even more confusion.  
  
"Diggums? Mulch Diggums?"  
  
A rare smile slipped over Artemis's face. He shooks hands with Mulch and said "Nice to see you again."  
  
_________________________________________________________________  
  
Butler honked his horn in uncharacteristic frustration. Half an hour ago, he had received a call from his young employer. Artemis II had not only regained his memories, courtesy of one Mulch Diggums, but he was now at Mulch's apartment, which coincidentally was paid for with stolen money.  
  
And right now, he was stuck in a traffic jam.  
  
His mood was definitely not improved by his sister. Juliet had her headphones on, and was singing along loudly. While his baby sister had many talents, Butler had to admit that singing was not one of them.  
  
Finally, the man's patience snapped. "Juliet, turn that off!" "You can't hear it!" "I can hear you!" Pouting, Juliet switched it off, looking around. "Are we STILL in the traffic jam."  
  
"So it would seem."  
  
__________________________________________________________________  
  
Holly, on the other hand, was speeding through the air above New York, headed for the same kleptomaniac's home.  
  
With a secret smile, she remembered how red Root had gone the last time Mulch had evaded him. Priceless. Or so she thought, until Root caught her smirking, and set her on surveillance for three weeks.  
  
Alighting on the bare roof of Mulch's building, Holly walked down four flights of stairs, to number 440. Rapping sharply on the door, she waited. And waited. Finally she stood and tiptoe too peer through the eyehole. And someone chose that exact moment to open the door, knocking her out cold.  
  
Mulch looked up. Nothing. Mulch looked left. Nothing. Mulch looked right. Still nothing. Mulch looked down, and for one of the first times in his life, felt taller than someone. ___________________________________________________________________  
  
Holly awoke on a couch, with a splitting headache, and an icepack that was rapidly sliding off her head. Sitting up with a groan, she looked groggily around her.  
  
A very different, skinny, _wet_ Artemis had clearly just emerged from the shower. Butler was sitting a metre away from him, and every time Artemis moved more than that metre out of butler's reach, Butler immediately followed. Artemis would normally find this irritating, but today, he was more than happy to accept it.  
  
Juliet was sitting on the sofa, but every few minutes, she would jump up and hug Artemis. And the boy accepted that too. Holly shook her head in bemusement. Strange.  
  
Mulch was watching the scene with obvious amusement from the table. Seeing Holly awake, he grinned. "Rise and shine Holly. Uh...sorry about that." Holly glared dangerously at him. Turning to look at Artemis, she barked "Fowl. Over here."  
  
Artemis raised his eyebrows, but approached. "Fo.ah, Artemis, I'm not here for a holiday." The genius smirked. "Considering that you're wearing your uniform, somehow I didn't think so."  
  
Holly rolled her eyes. "Whatever. The People need your help." She said bluntly. The boy's smirk grew. "Again?"  
  
"Yes." Said Holly through gritted teeth.  
  
____________________________________________________________________  
  
Half an hour later, Artemis was up to speed. Foaly and Root 's faces were visible on the screen of his laptop, which Butler had thoughtfully brought.  
  
"Bear with me, Commander. In recap: there is a human, one Zachary Webb, who is, in effect, mesmerising fairies, without any negative side-effects. He is using these fairies to steal weapons. You don't know where he is. You don't know what he intends to do. You don't know _anything_. Correct?"  
  
Foaly clearly did not appreciate having his intelligence systems questioned. "We know which fairy is aiding Webb. And we know they're somewhere in Switzerland."  
  
Artemis opened his mouth, but Butler cut in first. "I'll do it. But Artemis is going home to Ireland."  
  
"I certainly am not." Holly almost laughed. He was practically pouting, something she hadn't thought he was capable of.  
  
"You are. Your parents are terrified for you." "I'll call them and tell them I'm fine." "You're not staying here." "No, I'm going to Switzerland. And Juliet?"  
  
"Yeah Arty?" the blonde inquired. "You and Mulch head down to where he found me, find two kids my age, Cameron and Alexis, and help them out. Thankyou."  
  
Turning back to Butler, Artemis stated "I am coming. That's all there is to it." Butler raised his eyebrows, managing to look extremely Fowl-like.  
  
"We'll see." Was his only comment, and Artemis had to be content with that.  
  
"What about me?" interjected Mulch, as he followed Juliet towards the door. Holly glanced at the screen. Root's scowl deepened.  
  
"We may need your assistance." Holly informed him. 


End file.
